If the child is difficult

This book by Lyudmila Petranovskaya is written in simple and understandable language about children and for parents. For parents who cannot find a common language with their child. The book itself consists of 2 Parts and a bunch of mini chapters, each with a simple thought, example and interpretation of what is happening. This structure makes it easy to move through the book and perceive it as a mixture of theory and solution:)

In the first part of the book, which is called “Goodbye, weapons, or make love, not war”, the author appears as a sapper and shows how you can get away from confrontation with your own child, draw thorns, get rid of duty phrases and resentment. When this goal is achieved, the author moves on to the second part of the book "Difficult Behavior: Reboot" and shows the following: How to influence the difficult behavior of the child How difficult behavior differs from bad behavior Why this behavior is often the easiest way to achieve good goals (In complex and constructive ways children often do not have time to learn) The author proposes an algorithm from 7 Steps to Reset Behavior

1. Setting the target It is necessary to choose the behavior of the child that interferes with life the most. We should have one or two goals that we decided to focus on.
2. What exactly is going on? Collect symptoms and try to gather information about difficult behavior (What, where, when, when,)
3. Looking for a spring You need to understand what is the key cause of difficult behavior.
4. Explain what's wrong Here you need to explain what the problem is, using "I-statements", where we talk about our feelings, needs and problems. Don't use "you-says" like "you're wrong" or "you're bad."
5. Let the consequences come. It is important that when the consequences occur, the parents do not gloat, but continue to support the children, stay on their side and help deal with the consequences. The main thing is that the consequences are not rigged, but occur naturally.
6. We're helping you do it differently. Difficult behaviors are usually primitive technologies to achieve the desired. Therefore, we need to show by example the right behavior. What matters is what you do, not what you say. It is important to be creative and help your child find different solutions.
7. Consolidating achievements To perpetuate new behaviors, you need to support children, show sympathy, talk confidently and positively about future changes, praise and hug children.

In general, the book came to me because it is easy to write, contains a basic theory and analysis of a large number of situations from practice, and in some of which you can learn your experience of interaction with children. After reading this, I realized how I could have behaved differently in these situations.

P.S. If you slightly modify the tips from the book, they can be used to work with difficult employees:)

#ForParents #ForKids #Management #Leadership #Psychology